when the timing’s not right

at first, i wanted to name this “the hardes unsubscription i had to make” and to refer to my unaccomplished dream of living and working in Paris, but then, as i clicked “i am sure” i felt no pressure, no dream killed in the background of my heart/head, no regret.

Today i unsubscribed from RATP, the transportation network of Paris. I subscribed to it almost a year ago, when i was there and i was dreaming of the glamorous life of Paris. I did it after noticing an ad that stated you have free entrance at Disneyland Paris on your birthday, if you register on their site. For me this was more of a mind set and the first birthday gift on this new life i was dreaming of. It was more the promise that i would be in Paris for my birthday, that i would live there already and could spend my birthday with my (…new) friends there.

A lot has happened in a year, a lot has changed. i didn’t make it there, not that i had much chance in my one week stay :P, i came back depressed, with a broken heart and spirit, to the big nothing i left behind and started over. it was hard but now, looking back, i don’t regret or even dislike it. because now i am where i wanted, where i can make my contribution in the world and that matters.


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